My Comprehensive Guide on Cutting Communication With Your Abusive Parents
A list based on my experiences.
Expect depression for a while. A long while. You won’t want to do much; you will cry a lot and generally want to be away from people.
You will feel sad on holidays. Just remind yourself of how you felt with them while allowing yourself grace.
The unexpected texts or attempts from them to contact you will be difficult. Talk about it with your community so you have people to lean on.
Tell your friends about what’s happening. But only on your terms.
Let people check on you. Let them take you out for coffee, a walk, dinner. It is important to let people know how you’re doing.
You will feel waves of emotions that will vary in intensity. Ride the waves.
You will have days when you try to invalidate yourself. Remember: You’re not a liar. You’re not being overdramatic.
The more you address things in therapy, the more memories will unlock. Both good and bad.
It’s OK to have good memories and hold onto them.
Spend time on your hobbies. Do them even when you don’t want to. You will feel better.
Certain TV shows and movies will trigger you. Be careful.
You’re going to experience a strange new thing relating to how people feel when they learn you’re estranged from your parents. Lean on your community.
You should always give yourself grace and then add a dollop of more grace. You should apply a lot of compassion to your self.
There will be people and places that hurt a lot. Explore it. Or leave it alone. The choice is yours.
There is no deadline for healing. Stop trying to meet a deadline.
Allow yourself to grieve. You will have to grieve a lot.
You will find joy. You should seek joy.
Time and distance will allow you to start to grow butterfly wings. It might be hard to believe it at first. Trust it.
You’re allowed to be angry.
It’s OK to love them. It’s also OK to never want to see them again. It’s OK to just let things be what they are.
You are allowed to still embrace your culture. You are allowed to embrace your roots.
It’s OK if you can’t talk to your siblings right now.
Let your friends know how to best support you and show up for you when you want to share things.
You can do this. Six months strong on my end.
xoxo,
MS